


Choose Me Instead

by FrivolousWriter



Series: Quarantine Blues [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Light Angst, Please Don't Hate Me, Regina is being an idiot, Swan Queen Advent Calendar 2020 (Once Upon a Time), just ignore the beard at the back, quarantine made me do it, there's smut in the end tho, this is a christmas fic I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrivolousWriter/pseuds/FrivolousWriter
Summary: Regina and Robin are getting married. Too brokenhearted to even congratulate the couple, Emma finds solace in a bottle of Jack Daniels and, unexpectedly, ends up in the arms of Regina’s split half.
Relationships: "Hyde" Evil Queen/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Series: Quarantine Blues [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033584
Comments: 49
Kudos: 287
Collections: Swan Queen Advent Calendar Collection 2





	Choose Me Instead

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine.
> 
> ———
> 
> I don't know where I am going with this so just bear with me, okie??? 😁

Seeing that ring on her tanned finger told Emma what she needs to know. As every single person who noticed the ring happily congratulated the couple. Emma, on the other hand, stood rooted in place with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Emma? Honey, what’s wrong?” Snow asked worriedly when she noticed Emma’s behavior.

Snapping her head towards her mother, Emma just slightly shook her head. “Nothing. I better go,” she murmured and hastily made her way towards the back of the diner. She thought she heard Regina called her name but decided to shake it off and continued on her way.

The cold, bitter air that caressed her face gave Emma some semblance of control. She can still hear her heart slowly breaking and her blood pumping in her veins, her vision blurring from incoming tears. She needs to get away from there as soon as possible. The pain was too much and she can feel her anxiety rapidly approaching.

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath when she heard the familiar clicking of heels running after her. Desperate to get out of there, she summoned her magic. A few moments later a cloud of white smoke enveloped her form, leaving a stunned and confused Regina behind.

* * *

  
  


Emma took a large gulp straight from the bottle as tears kept streaming down her face. She’s pathetic. And a coward. But who can blame her? She knows all of this drinking the pain away will only cause her to feel another sort of pain come morning. She just wants to feel numb, even for a while. Everything hurts and if drinking too much alcohol will help her somewhat ease the pain then she’ll take it.

She just wants the pain to stop.

Sobbing, Emma hugged her knees close to her chest, the bottle of Jack Daniels loosely hanging on her fingers, and just let the tears come. She didn't want to close her eyes, because whenever she did, all she could see was that glinting ring on Regina’s finger.

It was just a simple Princess cut diamond, no more than two karats, but it was still encased around Regina’s finger and it fits perfectly. It’s obvious he didn't put too much effort on the design of the ring, but still, Regina loves it. She wouldn't be wearing it if she doesn't, right?

That simple thought added another set of bricks on Emma’s already shattered heart.

She thought she had a chance. Regina’s relationship with Robin was already hanging by a thread (Regina’s words) so it was really surprising to see that ring on her finger after a week of them not talking to each other after a big fight.

Damn her heart for hoping.

And damn her heart for loving one Regina Mills.

“Are you going to share that or will you just shove its contents down your throat until you pass out?” a familiar voice said from somewhere Emma didn't bother to know. A distinct tone to it let her know this is not the same person she had run away from earlier.

“Go away,” Emma slurred as she rested her forehead atop her knee.

The Queen rolled her eyes as she studied Emma’s slouched form on the couch. “You look pathetic,” she snipped.

Emma laughed humorlessly then took a long sip from the bottle. “Thank you for stating the obvious, _Your Majesty,_ ” Emma snapped back sarcastically. She was going to take another sip again when suddenly the half finished bottle was gone from her grasp only to appear on the Queen’s hand. “What the—”

“That’s enough. You’ll have a nasty hangover come morning so better get up, clean yourself up, and go to bed,” the Queen sternly commanded as she dropped the bottle on the kitchen counter.

“Since when did you become my mother,” Emma quipped as she rested her head on the headrest of the couch. She feels lightheaded and her vision is spinning.

The Queen laughed darkly. “Dear, if I was your mother, you’ll receive a lot worse than this.”

“Whatever,” she muttered then closed her eyes, only to open them a few minutes later when she felt a cool, damp cloth on her forehead. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“Something that foolish and dense other half of mine should be doing,” she spat as she gently wiped away Emma’s dried tears with the damp cloth.

Emma sighed as another set of tears started gathering at the corner of her eyes. “You didn't—”

“I want to,” the Queen cut her off, patting the fresh tears that escaped from Emma’s eyes.

“Why?” Emma asked, now looking at the Queen straight in the eye.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Just because.”

“You know I'm not going to stop asking until you give me a definitive answer.”

The Queen just stared at her, her expression blank. When the woman didn’t speak further Emma gave up.

“Fine,” Emma said with a huff then stood up. She did have too much to drink because her vision blurred that it made her almost dive head first on the floor if it wasn’t for the Queen who managed to catch her on time.

“Honestly,” the Queen exasperatedly sighed then guided Emma towards the staircase up to the blonde’s room. She could’ve used her magic to get them there, but being this close to the blonde somehow fulfilled a part of her that’s longing for the Savior’s touch. It’s not much but she’s willing to take what she could get. It was very uncharacteristic of her but she’s willing to change if it means she can be with Emma.

When they reached the blonde’s bedroom, the Queen gently laid down Emma on top of the bed, not bothering to pull the covers down just yet. Then, much to Emma’s surprise, the Queen kneeled in front of her and started unlacing the lace on her boots.

“What are you—”

The Queen cut her off with a sush as she continued to remove Emma’s boots, followed by her socks, then pulled her up until she’s sitting up by the end of the bed. With a small wave off her hand, a glass of water and a tablet of Tylenol appeared on her palm in a cloud of crimson smoke.

“Drink this then go to the bathroom to freshen up. Go on.”

Emma snorted. “So bossy.” But she took the glass and pill and did what the Queen demanded.

The Queen smirked at that. “Good girl.”

Emma only rolled her eyes and pretended that the praise didn’t affect her even a bit. But in reality those words sent a delicious shiver down her spine. With a small shake of her head, Emma sluggishly went to the bathroom to fix herself up, grimacing when she got a sniff of herself.

A quick shower is in order.

  
  


* * *

  
  


A stream of sunlight hitting her square in the eyes is what made Emma wake up in the first place. Wincing, she tried to get up, but was stopped by something heavy resting on her chest. Looking down, she saw long brunette locks elegantly pushed to the side and she felt soft fingers playfully caressing the small stud piercing on her exposed navel. Blinking several times to make sure she’s not dreaming, she deftly raised her hand to touch the woman’s silky soft hair.

“How’s your head?” the Queen asked, her fingers never ceased their ministration on her navel.

“Fine. Just a little headache,” she replied, unconsciously resting her chin on top of the Queen’s head.

“And how are _you_?”

It took Emma a few moments to respond, contemplating if she’s going to lie or not. But, knowing the Queen, she won’t be able to hide anything from the woman even if she tried.

“It hurts. So much,” Emm rasped out followed by a sob, closing her eyes shut as the woman pinning her down held onto her tight. “I thought… I thought I had a chance. I _hope_ I have a chance. But seeing that ring on her finger, a ring that came from the guy who only comes to her when he deems necessary, who always puts her last above everything else, made me realize that everything I did for her is still not enough. I’ve never kept my feelings for her a secret. Hell, everyone including Henry knows about it, _sees_ it even. But I guess, I didn’t make enough effort to have those feelings back. Now I just feel so stupid.”

“You are not stupid, Emma. Regina is the stupid one in this situation,” the Queen hissed in contempt. “I still couldn’t understand why she accepted his proposal after all the fights they’ve been having for the past few months. It seems, me being separated from her turned her into a _Charming_ ,” she sneered, spitting the word Charming as if it was the most disgusting thing she has ever said her whole life. Well, it probably was, but it made Emma chuckle all the same.

“But it’s too late now. Regina made her choice. And it’s not me,” Emma whispered after a long minutes of silence, a fresh wave of tears started streaming down her cheek.

The Queen slowly raised from her comfortable position on Emma’s chest to look down on the woman who had become the most important person in her life other than the child she had loved so much but was now distant to her because he believed she’s evil. It hurts, more than it should, that her own son thinks of her that way, that she didn’t have a chance to be with him, that he chose to be with her weaker half because she’s one of the _good guys,_ that Regina is one of the _heroes._ So she stayed away, keeping a low profile so as to not gather any attention from other people, but that didn't mean she's not keeping tabs on the people she values most.

Henry was faring well with Regina and the other Charmings. And he seems pretty happy.

Emma, on the other hand, was not.

Up until that point, she’s still trying to fit in her parents’, more like Snow’s, standards. And since she has come to know Emma over the years, this was the very first time she saw the woman wear her heart on her sleeve. Emma has always been guarded, keeping everyone at arms’ length, including Henry. But after that whole fiasco with the one-handed wonder and Emma sacrificing herself to save Regina from being the Dark One, she changed. Gone was the woman who had challenged her patience and upped each other in the battle of wits. Gone was the woman who never takes bullshit from others. And gone was the woman who never bows down to anyone. But since that whole Dark Swan and Underbrooke business and Regina splitting herself so she can get rid of her darker half, everything about the blonde woman started to change.

The Queen doesn’t like that one bit. Not at all.

“Then choose me,” the Queen whispered as she caressed Emma’s tear-stained cheek with the pad of her thumb. “Choose me instead.”

Emma looked confused for a moment as she stared up at the Queen with a furrowed eyebrow until the woman's words dawned on her.

The Queen licked her lips self-consciously, suddenly nervous. “I know I’m not exactly the Regina you wanted, but—”

“You’re still Regina,” Emma cut her off suddenly.

“Maybe,” the Queen said absentmindedly, “but I’m not the Regina everyone is so fond of.”

Emma tilted her head to the side as she looked up to the woman. “Does that bother you?”

“A little,” the Queen admitted. She then sighed as she rested her head back down on Emma’s chest. “But what bothers me most was you not being, well, _you._ Seeing you not being yourself in front of them, trying to fit in, exposing your feelings to Regina only for it to be ignored, it hurts me.” She wrapped her arm around the blonde’s waist then snuggled closer. “I may be Regina’s “evil” half who burned villages to the ground in search of Snow White with the habit of crushing hearts whenever I please, but I am not that heartless when it comes to the people I care so much about.”

Emma didn't know what to say to that. But she's sure a little happy to know that at the very least Regina feels something for her. Pulling the woman closer, she couldn’t help but drop a light kiss on top of the woman’s head.

“I know you’re ready,” Emma whispered, “but the pain is still too much for me to handle right now.”

“I understand,” the Queen replied as she closed her eyes, basking in the warmth and comfort she felt as she snuggled against Emma’s side. “Just know that I’m right here.” She lightly kissed the woman by the collarbone. “You’re not alone.”

* * *

After a long day at the station, and doing her best to avoid those people she really didn't want to see (aside from Henry because she knows she could never avoid her son), she was shocked to see boxes of Christmas decor in her living room when she entered the front door of her house.

“Uhm… Hello?” she called out, knowing the Queen is just somewhere in the house.

Since that talk about a week ago and after finding out that she’s been staying in Regina’s vault the entire time since she arrived at Storybrooke, Emma suggested she can stay at her house in the meantime. The Queen agreed immediately and took herself comfortable inside her home. And even though Emma readied the guestroom for her, the Queen still prefers to sleep in her bed. Why, Emma has no clue since they are still taking things slow, but that didn't mean she’s not okay with it. In fact, she welcomed it. It was really nice to wake up every morning with someone and just bask in the comfortable silence before facing the real world.

It was nice. For once, she felt she’s being the priority.

“Hello, darling,” the woman she’s been looking for said from the stairs. Since Emma mentioned that she didn't need those Evil Queen outfits from the Enchanted Forest—no matter how good it looks on her—inside her home, the Queen took it upon herself to use Emma's clothing from her tank tops, yoga pants, sweat pants, and hoodies. And whenever she sees the woman donning her clothes, well, she turns into this bumbling mess of a woman at a loss for words.

“H-hi,” she stuttered, licking her lips because they suddenly went dry. “What’s with all this?” she asked, motioning her hand towards the boxes. She needs to distract herself from staring at the woman clad in her grey tank top and black yoga pants that hugged her hips so beautifully. And on top of that, the woman was not wearing a bra.  _ Well, shit. _

The Queen shrugged. “I found these boxes in the attic and decided to do some decorating. You really need to put some decorations on the outside at least. You’re the only one in this neighborhood who hasn't put up some Christmas decor just yet,” she pointed out.

“Henry promised he'll help me out even though I told him there’s no need since it’s Regina’s turn to spend time with him for the holidays.”

“Oh.”

Seeing the dejected look on the Queen’s face, she realized what troubled the woman.

“You can help us out. There’s still so much to do and I don’t think Henry and I will be able to do it by ourselves,” she amended quickly.

The Queen shook her head with a sad smile. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He hates me, remember?”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Emma said softly as she gently grasped the woman's shoulders. “He doesn't hate you. All of this is just too much for him to take in. And I’m pretty sure he’s still not yet over about what happened down at Underbrooke. No matter what, you are still the same woman who raised him. Just give him time, okay?”

Emma can see that the woman is not wholly convinced if the small frown on her forehead is any indication, but she nodded anyway. Emma knows the Queen still worries about Henry not wanting her in his life just because she’s Regina’s “evil” half. She and Henry already had a talk about Regina’s counterpart and it seems he’s not that worried about whether the woman is going to wreck havoc all over the town. To be honest, he’s worried about her because they hadn't seen a shadow of her since that incident with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He also mentioned there were times where he stands in front of the mirror waiting for something to happen, if the Queen will finally reach out to him. Because, whether he admits it or not, the Queen is still the same woman who has been with him since he was a baby. And it's obvious he misses her.

“Let’s just put these boxes right there on the corner so it’ll be ready when—”

“Ma? Are you home?” Henry's voice filtered from the front door followed by a series of knocking that startled the Queen.

Seeing the panic look on the woman’s face, Emma didn't get the chance to calm the woman down because she was gone in a cloud of crimson smoke. With a dejected sigh, Emma opened the door to find a forlorn Henry clutching his bag pack tightly by the straps. A sight that made Emma frown.

“Kid? What’s wrong? I thought you’re staying at your grandparents’ tonight?” she asked. He had informed her about his plans earlier when they met at the Sheriff’s station after his class ended earlier that afternoon. “And where are your keys?”

“I changed my mind,” he mumbled as he headed straight to the living room. “And I left my keys at my room back at Mom’s.” He noticed the boxes of Christmas decor littering almost the entire living room. “Are these the decorations we used back in New York?” he asked.

Emma hummed with a nod. “I took them out so I get to clean them first before we start decorating.” She frowned when Henry looked over the open kitchen with a frown of his own. “What is it?” she asked.

“Is that Mom's lasagna cooking in the oven?”

_ Shit! _ She didn’t notice that when she entered the house. “Uhm…”

“And you were talking to someone before I knocked.” His eyes narrowed as he suspiciously looked at her. “Who else is here?”

_ Double shit! _ “W-well…”

“The Queen is here, isn't she?”

The tense silence between mother and son was really intense that Emma wanted to bolt. She’s been meaning to tell Henry that the Queen was staying with her for the meantime but she never really got the chance. Her cowardice was showing and she’s not really proud of it. And being confronted by this face to face spikes her anxiety through the roof.

Before Emma got the chance to respond, Henry dropped his bag then bolted towards the stairs up to the second floor of the house. It took Emma a few seconds to shake herself out of her shocked stance before rapidly following Henry up the stairs. She wasn't sure if the Queen merely transported herself up in Emma’s room or just simply went back to the vault so she has no idea what to expect.

When she reached the second floor landing, the first door on her right that leads to her bedroom was the first thing she checked. When she entered the room, the scene in front of her made her stop dead in her tracks.

There, sitting at the foot of her bed, was the Queen now appropriately dressed in one of Emma’s old shirts, cradling a sobbing Henry against her chest. The sight made Emma’s heart bursting at the seam as she weakly leaned against the doorframe.

It seems, for the Queen, everything will be alright where Henry was concerned.

* * *

It’s been almost three weeks since Emma started avoiding her. Not just that, the blonde also made it possible to avoid her own mother. Well, she wasn't even surprised in the slightest but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. She knows she has hurt the blonde when she accepted Robin’s marriage proposal, but not to the point where she stopped coming to her office for their usual lunch meeting.

So Emma avoiding her really hurts, and it's all her fault.

Parking her Mercedes next to Emma’s monstrosity of a car, she took a couple of deep breaths before exiting the vehicle. The bitter cold of winter air and the constant blinking coming from the twinkling lights that decorate the front of Emma’s house greeted her, but what made her pause just outside the white picket fence was the scene in front of her.

There, just by the living room window, was Emma hugging a familiar figure close as they shared a sweet kiss. And on top of all that, she was smiling that same beautiful, dimpled, carefree smile that Regina rarely saw grace the woman’s lips as the kiss broke.

Henry was right when he told her that his Ma is finally happy. But he forgot to mention that Emma was finally happy with Regina’s split half. It only confirms what she’s been seeing in the blonde for the past couple of months.

Regina wanted to pull her heart out and crush it herself right there and then.

With a silent sob, Regina took a step back and climbed into her car. She’s too late. Emma is finally happy. And it’s not with her.

_Oh, how could I be such a fool!_

* * *

Emma moaned out loud as the Queen hit her sensitive spot repeatedly. She already came twice for the first hour of their lovemaking with the Queen’s fingers alone, another two after a short break almost two hours ago, and now she’s nearing another climax again.

The woman was relentless. Not giving Emma any chance to flip them over so Emma could return the favor. And she’s been teasing and whispering all these praises against her ear that only made Emma edge closer and closer to her release. She let out a whimper followed by a ragged exhale when the Queen licked her from the underside of her left breast up until the tip of her tongue reached her nipple. Grasping the woman’s long brunette locks tightly, she pulled her closer when her lips closed around her areola then sucked hard, making Emma buck her hips against the woman’s hand, pushing her fingers deeper inside her pussy.

Releasing Emma’s already too sensitive nipple with a pop, her tongue made its way up past her collarbone, her neck, until she reached her earlobe, giving it a soft tug using her teeth. All Emma could do was moan again, all coherent thoughts flying out of the window.

“That’s it, my darling. Let me hear you,” she whispered sensually against the blonde’s ear. “Such a good girl, darling. So good. Taking me so deep. _Yes!_ Oh, god…” She gave another hard thrust that made Emma yelp out loud, making her grin proudly at herself.

Good thing Henry was staying at Regina’s until late afternoon tomorrow. She doesn't want their son hearing about their not-so-quiet bedroom activities before the year ends. He already had too much trauma to last him a lifetime. Hearing, or worse, seeing, his parents in a very compromising position will be the final nail in his coffin so they are doing their best to not get caught. He’s a smart boy so he knows what happens behind her and Emma’s bedroom door, but he doesn’t need to see or hear the evidence of it. But since he’s with Regina, they can be as loud as they wanted to. And hearing Emma gasp, moan, whimper, and groan in pleasure because of her was almost enough to tip her over the edge.

“P-please,” Emma sobbed as she buried her face against the Queen’s neck.

“Shh. Tell me what it is that you want, my darling.”

“So close… Oh, my god, I’m so close…”

The Queen hummed as she drove her fingers deeper, once again hitting Emma’s G-spot, making the woman thrust more forcefully against her hand. The fluttering around her fingers told her that Emma was close to exploding.

“Are you ready to come for me, my sweet? Are you ready to surrender yourself to your Queen?” she asked in a possessive growl, twisting her fingers then rubbing furiously against the woman’s sensitive spot, her thumb finding the woman’s clit then rubbed it in fast, tight circles.

“ _Yes!_ Oh, my god! Yes, I’m ready! M-my Queen… I-I… _Ah!_ ”

Emma came so hard it was hard for the Queen to move her fingers as Emma’s pussy walls wrapped around her tightly, keeping her in place. She didn’t even flinch when she felt Emma bit her shoulder so hard she wouldn’t be surprised to find deep teeth marks come morning.

On the verge of climax herself, she rode Emma’s leg and started rubbing her wet aching core against it.

“Oh, god… _Emma!_ ” she cried out as her orgasm hit. Once the initial shock was gone, and after pulling her fingers free from Emma’s obviously sensitive core, she laid boneless against the blonde’s chest, taking deep breaths to get some air back in her lungs.

She was still shaking from the aftershocks of her orgasm when she felt Emma pull her up until they’re face to face. When she looked up, she saw bright green eyes and a wide dimpled blissful smile staring back at her. And the Queen couldn't help but smile like an utter fool herself.

Grasping the woman's chin with her fingers, she pulled Emma into a deep kiss that left them breathless.

“I do love you so, Emma Swan,” she rasped out, her thumb brushing against the woman’s lower lip. She wasn’t expecting the woman's saying the words back but it doesn't matter. She can feel it coming out of her rolling in waves. She’s content with that.

“Thank you for choosing me,” Emma whispered sincerely, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

“No,” the Queen shook her head then pulled her again into a short but passionate kiss. “Thank _you_ for choosing _me._ It is more than I could ever wish for.”

Emma only smiled sweetly at her then tucked her face against the crook of the Queen’s neck. “Merry Christmas.”

Seeing the time on the clock by the bedside lamp, the Queen smiled then dropped a soft kiss against the blonde’s forehead. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this, I might not. Thoughts? 😶
> 
> ~~~
> 
> Thanks for reading! Happy Holidays, everyone! ❤❤❤


End file.
